Lingayat Practical Philosophy

This past weekend, Satya, myself, and his parents went to the temple together.  This gave me the opportunity to learn more about their beliefs and how they practice their religion. 

 

Here are some of their observations and mine:

 

“Any nice day is a good one to go to the temple,” This was said by my mother in law.  One of the hardest things for me to understand is that there is nothing like the Sabbath or Sunday to them.  People go to the temple whenever they feel the need or desire to do so. 

 

“Too much ritual, not enough devotions,”  This was said by my father in law.  The central god of the temple we attended was Venkateswara*.   There was a ceremony taking place there in addition to the usual ceremony with the aarti, the hat put on people’s heads for a few moments (Shiva temples don’t do this, but this was a Vishnu temple), the coconut drink, and the prasad.  This ceremony involved bathing the idol with milk, showing the god the offerings, etc.  The priests chanted in Sanskrit.  Satya was able to translate a little of this…prayers for peace, prayers for the cars of the believers, prayers for North America, etc.  After hearing the chant for peace, Satya and his dad were ready to leave, but then the ritual began again.  Also, at one point the priests came out and led a procession around Venkateswara.  The people carried their offerings (lots of milk, coconuts, and bananas) behind the priests.

 

Lingayats are a bit like Protestants or Quakers believing in simplicity. 

 

*A note about Lingayats and Venkateswara…according to Lingayat lore, Venkateswara stole money from one of the Lingayat gods.  To this day, Venkateswara is known as a rich god and at some temples there will be Lingayats chanting for the return of the money.  Despite these things, Satya’s mother was sitting right in the midst of the crowd during the ritual in intense contemplation.  Satya, his father, and I were sitting more off to the side.

 

“Do your best and whatever happens, happens for the best,”  and “Do your best, and leave the result to God,” common sayings by members of Satya’s family, including himself.  This covers things large and small.  For example, when Satya was in high school and was taking the tests that determined which school he was eligible to attend, his English score got messed up (he spoke English from the age of 2 and went to English medium schools, so I believe him that the score was a mix up.)  Anyway, that meant his cumulative score was one point shy of qualifying.  Was he bitter?  Nope.

 

“What do you do?” and its close relatives, “What can I do?”  and “What to do?”  This follows the above.  Some might call this resignation or a bit of cynicism, but usually signifies a recognition that not everything is in one’s control.  I hear a version of this everyday.

 

“Take the prasad, it is very important and carries blessings,” said by his parents.  Many believers will bring milk, cocunuts, or bananas to the temple.  These will be taken by the priests to be blessed.  Then, some will be returned to the giver.  Some will be offered to temple visitors.  Satya was hesitating about taking these, but his mother took a banana and split it into four parts for all of us.  I’ve heard that at some temples in India, free meals are given to visitors.

 

Learning about Lingayatism in particular and Hinduism in general is an ongoing process for me.  I learn tidbits here and there.

Relationship Meme

This meme is from GoriGirl’s site.  I loved reading the stories of various couples, so finally decided to add mine as well. 

What are your middle names?
Marie is mine.  I also have my Catholic confirmation name of Lydia.  Lydia was to commemorate my trip to Greece with my aunt.  Lydia was the first European Christian, according to the New Testament.  In Greece we got to see the stream she supposedly was baptized in so when I had to choose a confirmation name I chose hers. 

Satya does not have one officially.  Here in the U.S. he will sometimes use his father’s name as his middle name. 

How long have you been together?
Our first date was the end of August ‘07 and this week is our first wedding anniversary. 

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Hmm, we started communicating on eHarmony in July.  By the end of September we were dating seriously.

Who asked whom out?
I clicked on him first on eHarmony.  I liked that he liked traveling, knew so many languages, and said that he loved to paint.  I didn’t like it when he said, “Don’t think you have me just because I answer e-mails quickly,” or something like that.  I thought he sounded arrogant with that sentence, and so hesitated a lot before clicking on him.  Luckily, in real life he is not arrogant at all and is a sweetheart.

We went back and forth with our messages (eHarmony’s process is a bit exhausting).  He set up the first date.  I canceled because I wasn’t feeling well and because I was burned out on dating.  Luckily, we both made it to our first date the next week.

How old are each of you?
He is 30 and I’m 28. 

Whose siblings do you see the most?
His.  His brother lives a little over an hour away.  Mine are in Minnesota and Washington state.  His sister lives in California and last March we visited her for a few days. 

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I think we both feel we are a bit in limbo with him finishing up his PhD.  The uncertainty of when he will finish, where we will move, and him having to deal with a bully of an advisor is very stressful.  Also, living in a studio is tough sometimes-we are looking forward to having walls soon.  On the bright side, living in a studio means that we’ve learned a lot about each other this past year.

Did you go to the same school?

Not even close.

Are you from the same home town?
Nope.

Who is smarter?
I’d have to say him.  He is a genius at math and computers and somehow even managed to get a very high GRE score in English.  Also, he was one of Karnataka’s best students in German when he was in high school.

Who is the most sensitive?
Him, easily.  If you look up the male Virgo, you will find his picture right there.  On the bright side, he is very caring. 

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
NJ has some delicious, affordable South Indian restaurants and our favorite is called Tanjore.  Another one of our standbys is Subway.  We get the footlong veggie delights with 3 or 4 sauces-Sweet Onion, Chipotle, and Honey Mustard.  Satya cannot live without his sauces.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
California was the furthest we’ve traveled so far together.  We’ve also been to Minnesota and to Washington state together. 

Who has the craziest exes?
Me.  He went out on a lot of dates, but didn’t actually have a relationship with any of them until me.  For him, the thing about Indians not dating was true.

Who has the worst temper?
Mine is much more visible and vocal.  He is a silent, cold lump when he is angry.  Fortunately, neither of us can stay angry for long and most of our arguments involve lots of laughter.

Who does the cooking?
Both of us do the cooking.  We like to cook our elaborate meals together.  Our biggest disagreement about cooking is about following recipes.  I like to know what will happen next and why we are doing things.  He likes to very loosely keep to recipes.  I think that is an American vs. Indian thing.  Usually we cook Indian meals because I don’t know many vegetarian Minnesota meals except for grilled cheese sandwiches.

Who is the neat-freak?
Him definitely.  See reference above about him being a Virgo. He likes to say I needed a Virgo in my life to keep me organized. 

Who is more stubborn?
We discussed some of these questions before and on this one we disagree.  I say he is the most stubborn and he says I am. 

Who hogs the bed?
We disagree again.  I say he does, he says I do. 

Who wakes up earlier?
At the moment it is me most of the time because of work.  He can survive on much less sleep than I can, though.  I wish I had that ability : ) 

Where was your first date?
Art Museum.  I was very impressed that he bought the tickets and had the little pins all ready when I arrived.  The first thing I noticed about him was his eyes-very warm and gorgeous.  We walked around the museum and I was impressed by how he enjoyed noticing the details of the pieces and his fun comments.  After that we sat by the river eating jello cups. 

He proposed at the same place we met.

Who is more jealous?
I will guess him. 

How long did it take to get serious?
I think for me, I knew it was serious after our third or fourth date.  He knew before that.  He also knew by the fifth or sixth date he wanted to marry me, although I didn’t figure that out for another few months. 

Who eats more?
He does, definitely.  You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he can eat a lot. 

Who does the laundry?
Mostly me. 

Who’s better with the computer?
Definitely him-it is his PhD subject. 

Who drives when you are together?
Definitely him.  I’m still working on getting my driver’s permit.

Update

Sorry for not posting for so long.  The last few weeks were stressful.  Satya has had a few job offers so we were trying to decide which path to take.  For now, it looks like we won’t be making any big changes until the summer.  On the bright side, when that time comes we will be ready and hopefully we will both be in agreement.  I don’t think there is much exciting to say about that.  I think Americans and Indians take the same things into account when deciding which job offer to take. 

In our multicultural household, nothing majorly new to report.  We watched a few more Malgudi Days episodes, including some of the newer ones.  We saw the “Salt and Sawdust” episodes where Swami is grown up and has a wife.  The episode was very heart warming with Swami trying to help his wife write her novel. Unfortunately for the wife, she isn’t a great writer and the publisher’s like Swami’s food accounts the best.  My favorite episodes are still the original series about young Swami and his friends and family. 

In cooking news, we’ve tried sprouting some the beans we’ve gotten from the Indian grocery store.  One kind worked pretty well, moth.  The other kind, kala chana, we let sprout for too long.  The beans got strangely spicy and we decided not to use them at all.  I’d never had bean sprouts as a main dish before.  We will keep trying.  The benefits of sprouting the beans sound great-an increase in nutrition and digestability.

6 Random Things

Hi all.  Honeybee sent me this tag a few weeks ago.  Apologies for the delay in responding.  Below are the rules of the tag:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

 

1.  Love to start projects.  My latest project is cross-stitching a Christmas stocking for Satya.  My goal is to have it done by next Christmas. Satya can’t rest until projects get finished.  Other projects: learning Kannada, trying out new vegetarian recipes and organizing the good ones, yoga, learning to drive.

 

2.  Since leaving for college at 18, the longest I’ve spent in one dwelling is 2 years.  We just decided not to renew our lease which expires March 31^st.  Sadly, I’m not yet an expert on moving-my moves are usually somewhat chaotic.

 

 

3.  Countries we’d like to visit together: India, Bhutan, Greece, Slovenia.  Satya would also add some islands in the Caribbean.  We’d love to have a honeymoon in Bhutan, but who knows? 

 

4.  Things we are looking forward to having when we have a house: dog, thick walls, garden, gas stove, guest room and bathroom, kids. 

 

 

5.  Things I love about Satya: his kindness, his warm and sparkling brown eyes, how we can finish each other’s sentences, his reliability, his cooking ability, how he likes to hold hands, his joy in simple things like getting a Christmas tree or the growth of his houseplants.

 

6.  Best things about now:  new opportunities are on the horizon, we have the opportunity to lay the foundation for our life together, tomorrow is still the weekend, and our apartment feels like a home, our supportive families.

I’ll pass this on to Snippets&Scribbles, Evenshine, La Vida Loca, Gori Girl, Milwaukee Masala, and anyone else that would like to do this tag.

My apologies if you’ve all had this tag before.

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

Yesterday was the funeral of Satya’s American grandmother.  Vera was his brother’s next door neighbor and had been a friend of his family for years.  When Satya came to the U.S., Vera welcomed him to the neighborhood.  Vera and her husband took Satya’s parents on a tour of the town and especially showed them the Indian business area with the Indian grocery stores and restaurants.  Vera would visit with his parents and keep them company.  In later years, Satya would take Vera to some of her appointments and then they would go out to eat together.  Sometimes they would just have cake and hot chocolate in Vera’s kitchen. 

 

I met Vera last fall when Satya and I began dating.  She was the first close friend of his that I met.  We had snacks and hot chocolate in her kitchen.  Vera was an elderly Italian lady.  She was born in a tough Italian-American neighborhood and braved some disapproval when she married an Irish-American.  She loved to go shopping and Satya says she took great pride in her appearance.  She was always welcoming, friendly, and cheerful even as cancer took over her body.  Even when we visited her in the hospital last week she kept those qualities.  She was able to remember small details about us and still cared about what was happening in our lives. Vera proudly introduced Satya to her caregivers in the hospital saying, “he is like my grandson.”  I’m sad I won’t get the chance to know her better.  We have some regrets-that after Satya married me and moved over an hour away that we didn’t visit her more often or that we never invited her to come to see our apartment.  That is how it always is though, isn’t it?  There never is enough time.

 

I think Satya’s family and Vera got along so well because they both had the same ideas about friendship and neighborliness.  Satya says that when he was growing up, people would just stop by whenever they wanted and have a friendly chat together.  Today in the U.S. that attitude exists in some areas, but sadly not all.  In India too, he thinks that attitude is changing.  Satya thinks it is due to tv.  He and his sister think that kids today are exposed to too much tv and so they’d rather watch tv than interact with the people who drop by. 

 

 

After the funeral, Satya said that according to tradition we had to wash all our clothes and take a shower.  This even meant going to a dry cleaner’s, dropping off our winter coats, and then rushing back to the car in the midst of a cold, windy day.  He says he thinks this tradition came to be as a way of preventing the spread of disease.  Now I guess it is a way to brush off the sadness of a funeral and not carry it around??  Has anybody else heard of this tradition?

One Word Meme

Evenshine tagged me for this meme.  Thanks, Evenshine.  I agree…the trickiest part is the one word answers.  I was very tempted to write more.

Where is your cell phone? Home
Where is your significant other? Computing
Your hair color? Brown
Your mother? Nurturing
Your father? Conformist
Your favorite thing? Learning
Your dream last night? Forgotten
Your goal? Growth
The room you’re in? Public
Your hobby? Cooking
Your fear? Stagnation
Where do you want to be in six years? Parent
Where were you last night? Apartment
What you’re not? Unchanging
One of your wish-list items? Perfume
Where you grew up? Minnesota
The last thing you did? Clean
What are you wearing? Warmth
Your TV? Overbearing
Your pet? Imagined
Your computer? Exploration
Your mood? Impatient
Missing someone? Family
Your car? None
Something you’re not wearing? Necklace
Favorite store? Banana
Your summer? Full
Love someone? Mucho
Your favorite color? Turquoise
When is the last time you laughed? Afternoon
Last time you cried? Anger

I tag everyone who would like to respond.

The Remarkable and Very True Story of Lucy and Snowdrop by H.M. Bouwman

At the moment, this is the book I’m reading.  I’m writing about it here because I think the book has a lot to say about colonialism and race and because the writer currently lives in St. Paul, Minnesota.

 

Genre:  Fantasy, Adventure

 

Target Audience:  Ages 10-14 although anyone can enjoy the story. 

 

Plot Summary:  Two 12 year old girls try to save their island from conniving, evil politicians.  Each girl comes from a different background.  Lucy is one of the Colay, the original inhabitants of the island group.  Snowdrop is the daughter of the leaders of newcomers (prisoners from England destined to 7 years of indentured servitude in Virginia until they get shipwrecked on the islands).  Snowdrop’s parents die through mysterious circumstances.  Snowdrop flees to avoid being kidnapped by the politicians.  Lucy flees her island to save her brother from the fate of all the other native men, being turned to stone. 

 

Lucy and Snowdrop start as grudging friends, but eventually learn to trust each other.

 

Best Parts of the Book:  Humor.  Phillip the Tutor with his grandiose ideas and cowardliness is the funniest character.  In him and his writings you can see how explorers and their recorders made sense of and tried to rewrite their experiences. 

 

Phillip the Tutor, Lucy, and Snowdrop all grew and transformed in realistic ways throughout the book.  This gave the book a realistic and hopeful mood even though the book contained some fantastic elements.

 

Colonialism: 

• English renamed cities on the islands. For example, Lucy’s hometown is Sunset, but the English renamed it Dover.

 

• The Colays are used as a scapegoat by conniving politicians. They blame the crimes they committed themselves to increase their political power on the Colay.

 

• The Colays are punished when they try to profit by trading their own resources. For example, Lucy’s father wants to trade in the native rock, lifestone. The English conniver asks him where the lifestone is so that the English can control the trade. Lucy’s father refuses to tell and the Colays are punished.

 

•  The Colay are seen as inferior. The connivers see Snowdrop with Lucy. They try to divide the girls by mocking Snowdrop for spending time with Lucy.

Recommended?  Yes!  Short, entertaining read with some great truths in it.

Celebrating Deepavali

Today is the first day of Deepavali (or Diwali).  This is an important holiday for Satya’s family and for many other Indian families.  I don’t know much about it at the moment.  I know it celebrates light and the victory of good vs evil. 

 

Here is what I do know:

 

Accessories:  small votive candles put around yard and home, large lit star for front of the house, new clothes for family.  In India, people set off firecrackers.

 

Preparation:  cleaning house, decorating home, buying new clothes, cooking sweets.

 

Food:  As this is a very holy time of year the vegetarian diet gets stricter.  Eggs are not supposed to be eaten (they aren’t supposed to be eaten anyway, but especially now).

 

What we’ve done:

Satya cooked carrot halwa yesterday and Saturday.  He says this is something that is usually made for Deepavali and other festivals.

 

Similarities to other religions:

The lit star reminds me of how around Christmas Christians often put lit stars on their homes.  The lamps remind me of Hannukah.

 

As you can see, I have much to learn!

 

How will you celebrate the holiday?

Malgudi Days

I took Ashwini’s suggestion and watched “Malgudi days” (through NetFlix).  Earlier, I  had checked out the book “Malgudi Days” from my local library.  So far, I highly recommend both the book and tv show.  Malgudi Days focuses on a small village in South India named Malgudi circa 1935.  Both the book and show are made up of short stories about everyday people-the mailman, a young boy, a local shepherd, a miserly grandfather.  For Satya, “Malgudi Days” reminds him of his mother’s village.  He also remembers watching “Malgudi Days” in school.  For Westerners, the closest thing might be the James Herriot books and tv show-universal, everyday stories about a specific region and time.

 

The stories are not very sugar-coated or like a glossy Bollywood movie.  Some stories are funny or cute like the story of young Swami and the thief.  Some are sad like the story of the dog and the blind, elderly beggar.  One episode poked fun at wealthy American tourists.  Some pose great dilemmas-should the postman deliver a letter and thus possibly destroy a young girl’s chance at a good marriage?  Another was a ghost story…was the mechanic possessed by the ghost of the elderly temple caretaker?  (I thought that was one of the best ghost stories I’ve seen-enthralling because of the storytelling and not any over the top gore or effects.)

 

One aspect I thought was a little strange was that in the show, nearly everybody spoke in English.  Only the old man with the two goats spoke in Hindi which made sense as the whole point of the story was that he couldn’t understand the American tourist and the American tourist couldn’t understand him.  Was this because the author of “Malgudi Days” R.K. Narayan wrote in English?  Was the remake in English too? 

 

We’ve gotten through the first disc of episodes and have gotten through half of the second disc.  I’m looking forward to more great stories and heartily recommend “Malgudi Days”!

Linga and Omphalos…Related?

Satya and I were going through some of my old postcards.  He looked at my postcard of the Omphalos at Delphi, Greece and said, “That’s a linga!” 

Here is a photo of the Omphalos at Delphi.  A little background on the Omphalos…Ancient Greeeks believed that the center of the world (or belly button) was located at Delphi. 

Here is a photo of a linga-a form sacred to Shiva and especially sacred to Lingayats. 

What do you think?  Related or not? 

I think it is interesting that many cultures think of themselves as the center of the world.  The Ancient Greeks thought Delphi was the center, the Chinese called their kingdom “The Middle Kingdom”, etc.  Also, the Northern Hemisphere is always shown on top in the Northern Hemisphere and sometimes in the Southern Hemisphere it is reversed.